I have started Monster-RealEstate.com which ironically the first person I told that I was getting back in the game, coined the name before I said anything…The Monster Motorgirl sells “monster real estate”, and that’s all she wrote.
It’s been about 18 months since I’ve worked with any clients, I’ve been building websites and researching web marketing for other agents in the meantime, but I’ll tell you the climate has changed.
We all got spoiled I think. People were literally throwing money at us, any listing that was ½ way decent had multiple offers within 24 hours, and the sellers were likely to get 100% plus for their property. And usually the sellers had their cash within 15 to 20 days. Crazy!
Well-those days are past, and past is prologue. There is a moral to the story and the moral is this…appreciate what you have when you have it, don’t be greedy, things don’t last forever, and prepare for the rainy day…because inevitably even in the desert, it will rain.
I had it all really, a nice house, a beautiful car, money in the bank and a job that I enjoyed that I made some s
erious bank, but I lost myself. I could have had everything I had ever wanted if I had paid attention to who I really am- Not who I was perceived to be. I got lulled and dulled and bought the bullshit that I was selling, pretty much about all aspects of my life. I did things that you “should do”, “this is what you’re supposed to do”, “this is the best thing to do”, and “this will guarantee security and more” and now there is…nothing.Actually that’s not true, there are some things left fortunately- an investment has turned into my permanent residence, the nice house is now the rental, which hopefully will help in the future. I have computers, tools, and a truck and miscellaneous other trappings of my former life. I have contacts from the business that have turned into friends, and friends that have turned into clients. I have a reputation for hard work and fair dealing and that I am a “natural” at this real estate thing, and I also have experience and knowledge, that will assist me on my new path of life.
So this new life is this…survival. I have had to sell things that were precious to me to survive; I’ve had to make hard decisions about “things”, what to keep and what to try to keep as necessities for survival. Things that seemed important became trivial and things that were forgotten became essential. Let’s call it downsizing on Crack.
This summer has taught me things about myself that I never knew, and things that I have forgotten. I have been happy in my solitude, and lonely amongst people. The true friends have emerged, old friends are found and perceived friends have fallen by the wayside-as well as the forgotten passions, talents and skills, which have resurfaced.
On the eve of my 42nd birthday, I am secure in the knowledge that I am a survivor, I can take care of myself and I am in control of my life. Well, it sounds good anyway. My moments of self doubt and uncertainty have a lot to do with my relationship of the last 9 years, tumultuous times that we have gotten through, one way or another-until now.
With many relationships there is give and take and you hope that there is mutual respect, understanding and love. And the hope that you don’t loose yourself in the pursuit of achieving some level of happiness with another person, but sometimes you do and you end up fighting to get yourself back. Fighting with yourself and fighting with your mate.
I’ve had the last 6 months to get back to who I am and be ok with that person, by myself, having to make decisions for both of us because my partner was in training after joining the Army. And now upon graduation, the life that we once had does not exist and the current one is very different than what was remembered, by each of us. That is causing problems.
We have been individuals, separated by distance and experience; and now it’s hard to be a couple again. One of us has been encouraged to be selfish as a means of survival and the other has been encouraged to do the same, but with great difficulty. One of us has been taken care of through their experience so that singular focus could be on getting through to the end, and the other has taken care, with no end in sight. And now the feelings have changed, circumstances have changed, and we have changed.
I have always had my partner in my head as I make decisions, about this house, our little family aka "the fur children", about which bills I have the money to pay to keep moving ahead and so on. Now that’s causing “pressure” on my mate because they don’t “feel the same” as before the Army. “Seeing through different e
yes” is sometimes a good thing, and sometimes not. It will cause pain in others and maybe you, but hopefully in the long run you would hope for a greater good to emerge. Change brings new experience, experience gives perspective, perspective brings change, change is hard, hard builds strength and character, and Lord knows I’m a character…The time is now to make decisions for my future, “my” future, not ours. If there is an “us” we will survive because we are each doing best thing for ourselves as individuals. The nest egg is gone and one day you end up counting change on the coffee table hoping to have enough to buy firewood since that’s the only heat you have. The income that was “rolling in” has slowed to a trickle, if that; and you realize a capacity for comfort in small things, a touch, a cuddle with a pet, a smile and kind word from a stranger. Baking and cooking smells in the kitchen bring warmth in many ways, family coming to visit and a fire that warms you twice, makes you appreciate the decisions you’ve made about your life, and your capacity for contentment.
I have regrets, but they are not as big as you may think. I should have put more money in a savings account instead of buying that house. I should have watched what I spent on the business, and I should have planned better, I should have talked about what I felt and thought more instead of holding it in. But, “shoulda, coulda, woulda” doesn’t amount to a hill of beans now, does it? Move forward; keep moving forward, and as my father says “what have you learned from this experience?”. Lots trust me but, I’ll tell you what, I’m tired of learning.
I can't seem to get the learning part to be "applied learning"...is there a problem here?
